A man called "Betty" v. Kevin Costner?

My bodyguard.

If I had to choose someone to protect my ass, like... 80's/ 90's, bodyguard style, it sure as shit wouldn't be Paul Simon.  Really... what would he do?  Break out his bongos, acoustic guitar, and sing," Bridge Over Troubled Water"?  No thanks.

And as far as Kevin Costner is concerned, I do admit to a full-on crush, circa... some Nicholas Sparks inspired movie, but not "The Bodyguard."  However, if Bobby Brown were my husband, it would be easily illustrated why my decision-making skills regarding male partnership and protection were so poor.  Smoking crack and having severe psychosis have that affect.

So, if faced with the choice of hiring someone to beat ass for MY life... I would choose Bullet-Tooth Tony.